Posted by jrod on December 12, 2008 under SA, VIC | 
When I was in Australia no one seemed to care much about Pakistanis.
I blamed it all on a guy who played at my club who would appeal and send you off in the nets by the Salman.
No one liked Salman, ofcourse little of this had to do with his nationality, and mostly the sending off in the nets, and for those few unlucky enough to bat with him, his complete lack of single taking when he was facing until the last ball of the over.
But now Salman, or as I tried to nick name him, the big fish, has departed from club cricket, Pakistanis are finally getting a fair go.
It all stared with Usman Khawaja from NSWales.
Who in being picked for NSWales, has been the first Pakistani born cricketer to ever play for Australia, if you catch my drift.
Then South Australia couldn’t find any more talented players in NSWales or Victoria, so they went looking overseas, and found Younis Elvis Khan.
Khan has contributed a respectable 217 runs (one hungy, one fitty) @ 43 in 3 matches, but has spent most of his time watching the Hebrew Hammer Klinger bat.
So he has really earnt his money.
But he has other commitments mid season, or whatever, and so South Australia thought they would dip back into the well, and since its 2020 season, and Graham Napier is buys in Wellington they have picked Sohail Tanvir (subject to the indians not touring Pakistan).
The worlds best 2020 bowler, just pipping out Dirty Dirk Nannes for the title.
Since when has Adelaide been so into the brown sugar?
Since they produced Australia’s first ever aboriginal test cricketer, I spose, but this season they will have had one aboriginal player in my man daniel christian, and two Pakistanis.
Not too mention Michael Klinger, who is not called the Hebrew Hammer because he looks like Adam Goldberg.
They will perhaps be the most multicultural first class team in Australia since Richard Chee Quee (China), played alongside Greg Matthews (fuck knows).
If nothing else this does open up the One Aboriginal, Two Pakistanis and a Jew walk into a bar jokes.
cricketwithballs
Posted by jrod on November 15, 2008 under TAS, VIC |
The Vics choked Tasmania without two of their main weapons.
Dirty Dirk and Eyelids were out, but Andrew McDonald stepped in with a 3 for to leave Tasmania 8 for 189 at the close.
George Bailey does his best work against us, I think all that Mick Lewis sledging early in his career really fired him up for a career of G scoring.
Luckily his 70 odd was the only score on the day.
Now that the Vics are home, this must be the 6 point game, first innings points are really starting to shit me.
Even more than the Australian saying that Klinger could be a chance to play for Australia and that his output has been Bradmanesque.
Funny twist wit the game to, starting it 2 hours late because all the players were flying back from the chicken promo game.
And Victoria caught a break because David Hussey’s batting gear didn’t arrive at all.
When I worked at Qantas that would have never have happened.
Posted by jrod on November 12, 2008 under SA, VIC |
While losing a one day game is not the end of the world, in the scheme of things this was a bad day.
Most of Victoria’s bowlers were scored off with gay abandon, but that happens.
The Angry man took a 5 for & and Brad Ego made a hundred , but it wasn’t enough.
Dirty Dirk missed the game, for unknown reasons, but he can’t play in them all.
And Victoria lost, but that is not what makes it a bad day.
It’s a bad day because the Hebrew hammer Michael Klinger made a double hundred for South Australia.
9 fucking years he played for us, and not a cracker.
All we had were false dawns, nervous nudges, and so many times he looked out of his depth.
Most people in the know would say he was worth the wait, but how long should any team have to wait.
So we assholed him, probably too late.
But every year he would tease us, making the most runs in the one dayers, or scoring his debut ton.
So we kept him, and we kept him, and we kept him, and what did we get, fucking zero.
Now we throw him away, so South Australia can deal with him.
We didn’t expect much, neither did they probably.
Some serviceable half centuries, painfully slow 40 odds, and him getting out at the wrong time over and over again.
Well fuck me in the earhole if he isn’t the most inform batsman in Australian domestic cricket, and by some way.
No one could have expected this.
For the first time in his lie his career average of over 30, and has just scored his first double century.
Midway through his 4th game he has 582 runs at an average of 116.
Who is this man, and what has he done with the Hebrew Hammer?
This isn’t the normal case of shield cricket, where a player just can’t get into the side like Hussey, Miller or Gilchrist. You can’t blame the selectors.
He was in the side, all too often, so why couldn’t we make him work.
South Australia haven’t had him long enough to have fixed him, and with Klinger was it was never a technique thing.
Is it the Klinger Kurve, formally known as the Lehmann round bits, where the batsman is just pretty good, but is feasting on Radelaide Oval tracks, and is just pretty good elsewhere.
Was it some force from inside the team, did the man just need a huge kick up the ass, or has he met two twins from Adelaide that like to party.
Either way Victoria is the loser here.
Bad day for Victoria I tells ya.
Posted by jrod on October 24, 2008 under VIC |
Brad Hodge is now the greatest run scorer in Victorian History, and will soon be the most capped player in history.
Hodge has now scored more runs than Deano, so the legacy has been passed from legend to ego.
Old school Victorian supporters might remember when Hodge debuted for Victoria.
I didn’t look it up, but he scored something like 900 runs as a teenager and as a state we got very excited.
Then came the wandering in the desert period.
Hodge spent a lot of time outside of the team, something that is almost never mentioned these days.
Most Victorians had given up on him, when he did play he almost never made hundreds, and only ever showed flashes of being the real deal.
For modern fans, the Michael Klinger story is very similar, both playing as teenagers, impressing everyone and then losing the plot, and being picked more on potential but dumped when there was a real performer beneath them.
Then it all clicked, for hodge, not klinger, not sure what changed it, but am glad it did, because it produced a run scoring machine.
In the modern era only Deano and Elliott had a better averages for Victoria, but only just.
Being the highest scorer in your states history is quite an achievement, but it also shows that you have not played enough international cricket.
Hodge is always one of the first to say he should be selected, but we have our fate in our own hands, and if he had worked out his game in his early 20’s, he could be a 100 test player by now, instead of a fill in with a phenomenal average.
He will always be remembered as one of the best Victorian batsmen, maybe not on the top tear, which is Ponsford and Harvey.
Not quite on the 2nd tier which is Armstrong, Lawry, Hassett, and Jones.
But with the third tier of Yallop, Elliott, Redpath, and Ryder.
Which would be enough for most, but probably not for Mr Hodge.
I have never warmed to Hodge, and anyone who reads this site will know he is not my favourite, or 12th favourite player.
One thing I can say though, is that I am glad he is one of us, because if he wasn’t I would hate him a lot more, and I would have to watch him make hundreds against us.
In his early 20’s he would have had offers from other states, and he stayed true, you have to respect that.
So, and it’s not easy for me to say this Brad, congratulations on your milestones, you deserve them.
Posted by jrod on October 16, 2008 under SA, VIC |
How does the world work.
I am at a loss.
We spent years playing the Hebrew hammer, also known as South Australia’s Michel Klinger, with no results.
It would be fair to say that he was ordinary at best for Victoria.
Ordinary was a great moment when Klinger played for us.
But he spends 8 minutes in radelaide and he can make 150.
In 39 games for us his top score was 107 and one game Pistol was so bored he declared on him at 99.
For fucks sake it took him 7 years to make his first class debut, I would have backed myself to ass one by then.
I played in the same dowling tournament as he did, I remember the wraps on him, and then he went on to captain Australia Under 19’s and play for Victoria as a teenager.
But what did he produe for Victoria, less than fuck all at an average of 26.
And then when Victoria needs to get off to a cracker of a start to the season, Klinger steps up and plays a real innings.
39 times he played for Victoria, and nothing, one game for the redonkbacks and he slaps one up straight away, against real bowlers as well.
Damien Wright wasn’t playing.
The game is still open, Victoria are 170 odd ahead, and need to declare with some sort of a target for South Australia to win.
At least one thing is for sure, if Victoria sets a decent target, Klinger won’t score a run a ball hundred to win it for Sa.
That is not possible.
Is it?
Posted by jrod on October 15, 2008 under SA, VIC |
Hodge and Hussey decided that their work was done yesterday.
But Andrew McDonald popped in with a 60, because that seems to be the plan with read head Victorian batsmen these days.
And 10 points Quiney put some red ink into his average.
Then they declared.
And South Australia batted like a comatose mormon.
110 runs in 55 overs.
On a pitch where SOT Jewell scored at a decent rate.
Plant held steady for 48 from 158.
Harris flew to 18 off 80 before McDonald got his wicket.
And then Victoria’s Ex Hebrew Hammer really took them apart.
He played an innings that I am so glad he didn’t play for us, 31 runs for 101 balls.
I saw Klinger play so many innings like this, the sort of innings that makes you want to give your eyes to a young albino kid.
He is the sort of batsman who can face 100 balls and still look like he is facing his first ball.
And Klinger at 3, wow, the boy can bat, true, but he does so at a pace that won’t win you anything, and he usually doesn’t finish off with a hundred anyway.
How bad are South Australia.
That was rhetorical, we all know.
If South Australia keep batting at this pace, they should’ve gone past Victoria’s score by Christmas.
Posted by jrod on October 12, 2008 under VIC |
A new dawn for Victoria is around the corner.
One based on an endless supply of quality quick bowlers and a proper top order.
Ok we only beat South Australia in a one dayer and I may be getting ahead of myself, but fuck it.
The answer to the question, who is Jon Holland, is a bloke who looks like h can bowl.
2 wickets, Future PM D Hussey said he was the catalyst, and everyone seems impressed.
Chris Rogers strode into one day cricket like he owned the joint.
The truth is though that ginger cricketers have always played good one day cricket, the red ball is too much competition for them.
Back to the game though, Brad Ego took the South Australian bowlers to the cleaners.
One of those bowlers is the mule Alan Wise, you may remember him from 2000 & 3, but he has hardly played for Victoria since then.
Also Victoria’s ex Hebrew Hammer, Michael Klinger, played, he made a dashing 17 off 37 balls.
Which overshadowed Chris Rogers 60 and Rob Quiney’s 40.
Obviously.
Good practice game, now finish them off in the 4 day game boys.
Posted by jrod on October 1, 2008 under SA |
SA, the South Australian bare backs
Players that wont be available for large chunks of the season
Um, maybe Shaun Tait.
South Australia will have a full strength side, which for them still isn’t much.
Last year there best player was Ryan Harris, who is in Queensland now.
Gillespie, Blewett, Elliott, and Lehmann are all gone.
So is Nathan Adcock, but thats a good thing.
Hard to see them getting to much better, they went on a huge recruiting drive and all the ended up with was two fringe players from Victoria and a bunch of players barely in the squad in NSWales.
Leadership
Well after the leadership debacle that was Nathan Adcock South Australia have picked the logical option.
Graham Manou isn’t going to be dropped, and last year was probably the best batsman, and second best player behind Harris.
Good leader, but probably not the best captain going around.
Bowling
A full year of Shaun Tait will be handy. Only a handful of state cricketers have ever taken over 70 wickets in a year and he is one.
Guys like Rofe, Wise and Clearly are all just state players, and none of which are match winning bowlers.
The two Cullens, Bailey and Daniel, are still around. Wouldn’t be great if one of them took wickets this year.
Batting
The two imports, Younis Khan and Michel Klinger, will probably be the best two batsman in this side.
They might have issues though, one being a muslim, and one being a jew. Throw in Christian at 5, an aboriginal, and you have the minority middle order.
Mark Cosgrove is the only other batsman who is legit. So he becomes mega important, especially when Khan goes home.
Their top order is so fragile, that they might have to take drastic measures and play Michael Vaughan after Younis Khan pisses off.
As if buying Klinger wasn’t embarrassing enough.
Long in the tooth
If this isn’t Paul Rofe’s last year, South Australia will be shit for at least two more years.
Ready to shed the nappies
No real young players who inspire me with confidence, but I am a big fan of Daniel Christian, a batting all rounder who bowls into the 140’s.
Nostradamus
Shield
5th.
One day
5th.
2020
4th.
The rub
They were rubbish last year, but they will have to improve, wont they?
The Hayden Christensen XI
Tags: alan wise, dan christian, daniel christian, graham manou, mark cosgrove, michael klinger, nathan adcock, paul rofe, ryan harris, shaun tait, Sheffield Shield, shield preview
Posted by jrod on February 23, 2008 under TAS, VIC |
Cricket is a cruel mistress.
And not in the cool whipping you kind of way.
She all but takes you to the edge of the promise land, and then Travis the turtle Birt (former Victorian no hoper) gets an edge for 3.
I feel hollow inside, if Natalie Portman were in front of me right now, naked with a bottle of Canadian club, I couldn’t muster up the energy to have a drink, let alone avail myself of her nakedness.
Do you understand the depth of my sorrow.
Losing a game of cricket happens.
Losing a final against Tasmania happens (occasionally).
Losing a final against Tasmania when they are 9 wickets down and Byrce McGain is spinning a web of destruction at the other end does not just fu©ken happen.
Victoria decided on not batting in this game, David Hussey (sign the petition) aside.
Hussey is made of a scientific polymer substance that is resistant to heat, cold and Victorian collapses.
How the Vics got Tasmania 9 wickets down for 130 runs is insane, and it took a Victorian, Birt, to win it from there.
Tassie have a great bowling line up. Hilfenhaus, Drew and Geeves are all what Tony Greig would call broad shouldered men, who bowl above 140 clicks. Xavier Doherty, is a weird dude, but he can definitely bowl, and has the best stutter ball in world cricket.
The Vics just had one of those days, they batted when the wicket was playing up, they picked a probot (klinger) ahead of a batsmen (blizzard), they lost 12 overs though massive stupidity, the rain inhibited Bryce and tassie got the best of the rain delays.
At least they put up a hell of a fight.
McGain and Dirty Dirk at the end were outstanding.
Dirty Dirk Nannes (say it) is the hulk with a beard, a man so powerful a thousand tranquillisers couldn’t bring him down.
Mcgain is like a wonderful wizard, I think he should have a long white beard.
But even these great men couldn’t turn the game far enough.
Realistically this is only a one dayer, but still it hurts, oh does it hurt.
If I don’t take a bunch of sleeping tablets and sexually strangle myself I may talk about the last few overs and that man Bryce tomorrow.
Tags: aiden blizzard, ben hilfenhaus, brendan drew, brett geeves, bryce mcgain, david hussey, dirk nannes, michael klinger, natalie portman, one day final, travis birt, xavier doherty
Posted by jrod on December 11, 2007 under TAS, VIC |
David Hussey and Max Klinger continue their sick relationship in Tasmania.
In the spirit of Romeo and Juliet, if one dies then the other must commit suicide so they can spend the rest of their time together pledging their undying love to each other, in the locker room.
It’s not hard to work out who the butch is, is it?
At Least they only do it after making important partnerships.
Captaining suits the way Hussey bats, and a run a ball hundred was perfect for today.
Klinger continues to bat like a man who is trying like hell to keep himself in the side, is he a talented player, yes, can we continue to allow him to score a run over three balls, not sure.
Another worrying sign is the fact that outside of Hussey and Hodge none of the batsmen seem to be able to make 100’s.
Well it worries me anyway.
Tomorrow is an interesting day.
Will Our Byrce get a pitch that is Boxing day friendly tomorrow, or will Peter “nacho” Siddle continue his rise?
What happened to the Tasmanians, this is looking like a big depantsing in their own backyard.
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