Posted by Moses on November 30, 2007 under NSW, VIC | 
The mighty Bluetongues are in a decent position in their Shield clash against the mexicans.
The situation was looking dire the first session yesterday with the mexicans taking two quick wickets and having us at 2/2. Fortunately Kattich came to the rescue along with 43′s from Mail and Haddin.
With a few overs to go he declared at 9/253, a worringly low first innings total that immediately paid off with one wicket before stumps.
Today’s seen regular wickets with the mexican’s now at 3/118 after Hodge recently departed. Unfortunately Hussey mark 2 is still in so we’ll need to clean up his wicket before cracking out the Moet.
Posted by jrod on under VIC |
N(ew)S(outh)W(ales) have announced their greatest team of the last 150 years.
The only reason I mention it, is I wanted to see whether Keith Miller was picked.
He was not, so obvioulsy they chose the team based on where you were born, not where you ended up.
Victor Trumper made it, he was so good, he must be, he is from NSW and still one of my favourite players of all time.
Some great names in the side, but some interesting players overlooked, like Allan Border (where was he born), Adam Gilchrist(not his fault they chose Phil Emery), and Glenn McGrath (not as good as Charles Turner) among them.
Also lead singer of Six & Out Richard Chee Quee missed out.
Richie did make a funny reamrk though, when asked about the David Hookes quote
“When your givin a blues cap you get a baggygreen in a brown paper bag as well”
Richie said that wasn’t always true. Sometimes it was in a white bag.
Smooth.
Posted by jrod on under VIC |
Dirk “say it out loud” Nannes and Gerard Denton completely destroyed New South Wales today.
Unfortunately for them they couldn’t beat the West Australian Katich, the man who bats like a crab.
This year must have a new shell (boom). He’s made a kazillion runs, at an average that would make Hussey uncomfortable. He outscored his team mates by 30 runs. That’s a pretty good effort.
All day the Vics were only a Katich away from taking over. This didn’t happen until Dirty Dirk Nannes came on with the new ball.
Denton and he shared 4 wickets apiece.
You get the feeling that 250 may not be a terrible score in the scheme of things. Katich, other than a brief period against McGain, was mostly kept quiet, which means the deck must have had something in it.
Hodge sent the blues in, whether it was a strategic decision or he did a dravid/ganguly/tendulkar and was protecting his average we don’t know.
Wednesday’s destroyer Quiney lost his wicket on stumps to the oldest young dude on the planet Doug Bollinger.
If this wicket does have a bit of spice in it, then the majority of the runs will have to come from Hodge and Hussey.
Posted by Moses on November 29, 2007 under NSW, VIC |
The Sheffield Shield history between NSW and VIC dates back to the summer of 1892 when those bloody mexicans beat us in the three way competition including South Australia. I’ve never forgiven them. Sure we’ve won 44 Shields to their 25 since, but we’ll never win the first Sheffield Shield, and that bites.
Some comfort can be taken from the fact that due to internal squabbling between the respective boards of the Mighty New South Welsh Bluetongues forebears and the Mexicans (the more things change the more they stay the same), Lord Sheffield’s generous £150 donation was not actually spent for several years and the Victorians while in essence held the shield, they did not in actuallity hold the shield.
So with the History of hatred recounted I can move on 215 years to the 2007 installment of the festival of hate.
The bluetongues go into this battle with their test stars returning. The return of Phil Jaques, Michael Clarke, Brett Lee, Stuart Clark and Stuart Macgill would be a real boost for any state team, let alone one that is already topping the shield table.
Alas inuries have plagued the returning superstars with Clarke succumbing to hamstring issues, Phil Jaques going down with the mumps, Lee got a last minute callup to the local Indian karaokee restaurant and Macgilla otherwise engaged at the bottom of a wolfblass bottle.
New South Wales: Phil Hughes, Greg Mail, Peter Forrest, Simon Katich (c), Domenic Thornely, Brad Haddin (w/k), Beau Casson, Mark Nicholson, Nathan Bracken, Stuart Clark, Doug Bollinger, Grant Lambert (12th).
Vics won the toss and are bowling.. dammit two early wickets not looking good.
Over 1.2: Nannes to Hughes, OUT, what a start for the Bushrangers, cracking delivery that was short and angled into the body, Hughes could do nothing but fend it away to Hodge in the gully.
Carn Bluetongues, do it for all things pure and blue and make Lord Sheffield proud
Tags: beau casson, brad haddin, brett lee, doug bollinger, greg mail, michael clarke, nathan bracken, peter forrest, phil jaques, Sheffield Shield, simon katich, stuart clark, stuart macgill
Posted by jrod on November 28, 2007 under NSW, VIC |
These are my disjointed notes on the one dayer between vics and blues.
I got to the ground just after the wild man Dirk Nannes (say it out loud now) finished his spell and 3 New South Welshman.
Shane Harwood came up with a new variation on the Tony Greig theory of straight and full in one day games. He decided to keep the straight, but forget about full and just bounces the batsmen with two men out. Slowed Haddin down, next over he went out forcing a ball that wasn’t there.
Brett Lee was sent out as a pinch hitter. Not every intimidating when a batsman walks out with an arm guard though is it. He then made 11 off 14 before Thornley scorched him. Probably all for the best though, because Moises Henriques came out next.
The kid looks nothing like a cricketer. But he sure acts like one. He could be the complete opposite of Shane Watson. He made 11 off 5 balls, and he made them so damn easy you wonder why they even bothered giving Lee an arm guard and sending him out there. His bowling wasn’t brilliant, but it was fresh and certainly more potent than Thornely’s.
Future PM (next election) took a blinder at long on after miss reading the ball and then plucking it one handed. He then ran in from long on and did a weird rock the baby dance.
Being that I am a MCG member, I sit next to the players area. Which means I get to see all the players girls, families and such. It’s good for a couple of reasons, one because you get to see the players off the field. And where there are fit and talented men there are bottle blondes, which are good to look at. Oh and also Bryce McGain’s mum, who seems like a nice lady.
Is it wrong I sometimes hope Klinger goes out? I’m sure he is a nice guy, and he is talented, but he just aint fun to watch.
Nsw definitely think Hussey doesn’t like it short and fast, I spoke to Sime on the way home and he said on the telly they were saying similar. He actually seemed to handle it ok I thought, and it certainly didn’t get him out.
Hussey has the best wrist work of any Australian I’ve ever seen. Nope scratch that, I remember this chick once, she was a magician.
Quiney is an interesting dude to watch bat. He looks like a club cricketer, he seems to over balance a lot, and he plays these weird guiding shots all the time. Then its like a switch is flicked and he just turns it on. He still bats like a club cricketer mind you, at no stage does his technique look perfect, but who cares, and the boy hits a mean ball.
Just as Quiney and Hussey got their funk on, Katich brought on the power play. Not earlier when the small and diminutive Klinger was batting. Twas odd. It lost them the game, as Quiney and Hussey smashed Brett Lee and Stuart Clark everywhere. Not even Lee’s pompous did I tell you I’m the leader of Australia’s attack slow the Vics down.
In the massacre Hussey charged and then backed away as Lee followed him with a bouncer that he sliced away for four. Don’t try it at home kiddies.
Michael Clarke sat in the dug out, with a tracksuit on, even though it was hot, maybe he has the mumps too. This didn’t stop him giving advice to Katich all game. Auditioning for Punters job are we?
As Nsw lost the game I tried to come up with a traffic pun about them being the Speed blitz blues. Then I realised something, the name is funny enough on its own.
Victoria made light work of an attack with Bracken, Lee, Clark and Hauritz in it.
Quiney especially, the man was brutal, I haven’t seen a non Hussey/Elliott/Jones/Hodge guy dominate for Victoria against a good attack like that. He was unbelievable, he really did treat the bowlers like they were club grade and he needed to get home and feed his cat.
Should I get excited?
Memo to MCG, the sightscreen at the city end makes a weird high pitched screeching noise when moved. Is there anything we can do about it, I know it won’t be a problem during internationals, you know the games with the crowd and such.
Special mention to Dirk Nannes (say it) who tried to imitate Quentin Lynch, the west coast eagle forward by charging at a ball so hard he forgot to use his hands and chested it away instead. Nice work Dirk.
Tags: brett lee, bryce mcgain, dirk nannes, michael clarke, michael klinger, moises henriques, rob quiney, shane harwood, shane watson, simon katich, stuart clark
Posted by jrod on November 27, 2007 under VIC |
Grab your pitch forks, kiss your woman goodbye, and follow me to the streets my friends.
Our hero is under attack.
The great Chuck Berry, a hero to all right thinking Victorians, has been thrown into exile, Imran Khan style.
For what I hear you ask.
Our Chuck stood up for David “future Pm” Hussey after he was given out by a drunken third umpire who is clearly anti Victorian.
Chuck, who asked politely for an explanation of how you could give out Hussey with such unclear footage, was sent from the box by this dictator of an umpire.
Then to add insult to injury our Chuck has been banned from domestic cricket for 2 months just for having the guts to ask why the umpire had made such a grievous error.
2 months, do you believe that boys and girls.
Friends of Chuck follow me to CA house, our hero needs us, he was standing up for Victorian cricket, so let’s stand up for him.
Posted by jrod on November 25, 2007 under QLD |
I don’t know how many of you have watched the Animatrix short films series.
They were made as a cheat sheet for Matrix nerds (Big daddy & I) as a filler for all the plot holes between Matrix 1 & 2.
I mention this, not because I plan on giving you a review of these short films, but because one of them has sort of (not really) become true.
There is a short film in the series called, World Record, it’s by far one of the wankier ones.
It’s about a sprinter who works out that the matrix exists by his super human performances.
This reminds me of Ashely Noffke’s recent performances.
19 wickets at 20, with three 5 wicket hauls. 393 runs with one century and a few fiddys to his name. State cricket has never seen a transformation like it.
One minute he is an average bit player who destroys Victoria from time to time, and now he is Luke freakin Skywalker.
Average players need to accept their place in life, they can’t suddenly become Keith Miller or Imran Khan.
When one breaks the shackles, if they perform so far above their station in life that they rip at the very fabric of reality, their body can surely not live up to that sort of strain.
Hence why Ashley Noffke performed such a perfect superhuman job of destroying Victoria, and then his body gave way.
There are limits to human endurance, and Ashley has learnt, he is not meant to perform at that level.
Luckily for him he hasn’t ended up in an asylum like the dude in the animatrix.
However he has learnt his lesson, so we can expect more measured performances from him, none of this superman ©rap in the future.
Monica was in the second Matrix. True Story.
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Posted by jrod on November 23, 2007 under QLD, VIC |
This Bushranger tour of the Gabba has been a blood bath. (no pun intended)
First Dick Pound kidnapping Ashely Noffke just as his transformation to superhero was complete.
Then Greg Shipperd breaking Andy Bichel’s hand with a Victorian vice like grip.
Now Lee “where has he been” Carseldine decides to strike back at the vics by breaking our Cameron Whites foot.
It’s really not safe to be an allrounder at the gabba these days, Watson, Noffke, Bichel and White all succumbing to injuries.
While all this was happening the vics fell apart, the all to common site of Hussey, Hodge or White saving them did not occur and the rest did not step up.
John Hastings whose name rings no bells for me at all, made a good debut with the ball taking 3 for 50.
Shall be interesting to see how the vics travel without white at the helm…
Posted by Moses on November 21, 2007 under NSW, VIC |
The Mighty NSW Bluetongues have returned to their rightful place at the top of the Sheffield Shield. As expected, Doug Bollinger took out Man of the Match with his match figures to 12/131. Advanced hair are said to be getting in touch.
Bracken’s hair is no doubt still appalling, Forrest and Haddin hit centuries in our only innings (declared) and now all is well in the world. Just waiting for cricket.com.au to update the table so we can see NSW at the top on 20 points. Stay tuned for next Friday when Macgilla warms the MCG bench for the top of table clash against the Mexican’s with Mobiles.
Posted by Moses on under NSW, VIC |
One thing that really grates my goat with the professionalism of modern sport is teams and grounds selling naming rights for cash.
The worst victom of this cash-grabbing phenomonan is the NSW ‘Speedblitz’ blues. This cringeworthy excuse for a moniker has made it much more difficult to support the team. Seriously, Speedblitz? It’s a freaking anti-speeding campaign and has nothing to do with cricket or NSW. WTF is that meant to inspire? Has anyone approached Morgan Freeman to throw on the costume Driving Miss Daisy and dance around the boundary as a mascot?
I really try to support the NSW Blues, we’ve got a great team this year even when missing our 6 Baggy Green representatives.. but I just can’t get past the obscene name. Enough is enough. Every media release seems baked in speedblitz references and I just can’t take it anymore. A Jihad on Speedblitz!
So, by the lack of power vested in me by no-one at all I hereby declare from this moment forward the NSW Cricket Team will be known as ‘The NSW Bluetongues’
When threatened, a Funnelweb rocks back on its hind legs and lets venom drip down its fangs. A dog raises its hackles, growls and bears its teeth. As for the Blue-Tongue, its defence is to show that it has a big blue tongue. To reinforce the threat, the lizard stands its ground, hissing and drawing as much attention to the tongue as possible. Confronted with such an odd sight, one can’t help but think that there is something to fear about tongues afterall.
A cross-industry promotion with an icy pole company could get sporting fans walking around with a blue tongue, to ensure they share the lizard’s novel trait.
Note: Credit for the name goes to Convict Creations.
If we must obtain a naming rights sponsor then one couldn’t go past these these guys.
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